Sarcastic Kidnapper

- Matt, are you awake?? It’s Brian!

- Brian? Is that you? It’s 2:30 in the morning… I haven’t heard from you in a week. Where are you?

- I’m in Las Vegas.

- What? What are you doing in Las Vegas??

- Look, Matt, I’m in a lot of trouble. I think I may have been kidnapped.

- Kidnapped?? Are you serious—wait what do you mean you think?

- I mean I can’t exactly tell, because the guy—you know the guy who I think kidnapped me—is really, really, really sarcastic, like all the time. We started talking at this bookstore, and he kept daring me to do stuff, but when I asked him if I had to he was like “Yeah” in a really sarcastic way.

- Well did he have a weapon??

- I know, right?? Exactly! I could NOT get a straight answer out of him. It is so frustrating.

- So wait a second, how are you calling me right now?

- He let me use his phone. Don’t worry, he said it was no problem, and that it’s not like the phone company charges extra for long-dist…oh man, you know what? I might die tonight.