Vegas Weatherman – The Harvard Lampoon

Vegas Weatherman

RJS '17

“Okay, you got the fountain in the background. Let’s get this in one… two… three.. Hi there, Las Vegas. It’s a beautiful day for–”

“Hey, buddy.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re the weather guy, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Gonna rain on Saturday, right?”

“Uh, no.”

“I said, it’s gonna rain Saturday.”

“No. I checked the satellite an hour ago. It’s going to be clear and breezy, highs in the mid eighties. I’m issuing a pollen alert.”

“I got a friend who would be very interested in seeing some rain on Saturday. I think it would be also in your best interest if it were to rain on Saturday.”

“Yeah, and what if I don’t?”

“You’ve been having some trouble with the humidity. My client could make that all disappear. Also, windchill. And we wouldn’t want anything going wrong with the barometric pressure.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“I have not threatened you. I am a big fan of the weather. I admire your work very much.”

“I know all the big weather guys. Who do you work for?”

“My client prefers anonymity.”

David Mandel and John Aboud III (1992)