Best Day Ever

How would you define the most "awesome" day ever? Two dueling perspectives:

Jake Shorin, 11th Grader, Shady Heights High School:
"I get like fifteen blowjobs in a row from the hottest girls in school in the locker room, then I go dunk to win the state championship."

Erwin Hamilton, Editor, Webster's New American Dictionary:
"About twelve blowjobs."