War Announcer

I wonder what it would sound like if sports announcers announced war battles too:

"One man from one side comes up, shoots another guy from the other side. That guy dies. The one who shot him keeps going forward until he's shot by someone from the other side. That guy kills another guy before getting killed. The guy who shot him is immediately killed by a land mine. The land mine also kills six other people. Another guy somewhere else uses a gun to shoot someone else. That same thing happens two more times, very quickly, and then, all of sudden, a guy shoots a guy. He dies, but not before shooting someone else. That person dies. A tank pulls up and a man steps out. Someone shoots him."

MKG '10