Birthday Present

Me: Happy Birthday!
Friend: Thanks man. You remembered.
Me: Of course. Look, I got you something.
Friend: Oh. You didn't have to -- what is this?
Me: Open it.
Friend: It looks like a lab printout.
Me: Go ahead and open it!
Friend: What…is this?
Me: Look familiar?
Friend: No.
Me: It's your genetic sequence!
Friend: How…what…
Me: Surprised? It's a mapping sequence of your own DNA!
Friend: Dave, how did you do this?
Me: I pricked you while you were sleeping.
Friend: Jesus Christ.
Me: Look, it even has a list of all the diseases you're predisposed to.
Friend: …
Me: Happy Birthday, man!

WBB '08