Dumbledore Is Gay: Parents for Christ Evening Meeting – Friday October 19, 2007

Thomas: So we're agreed that the Harry Potter series is decidedly not heresy.
Pam: I myself had been staunchly anti-Potter. I mean the witchcraft, the occultism, the centaurs with their dingles hanging loose-
Jeffrey: Ah, yes: "And the LORD shall banish the treacherous dingles from this land, whether they be of human-born or of centaur-born."
Pam: . . .
Thomas: . . .
Jeffrey: Deuteronomy . . . 10-14.
Pam: Yes, 10-14. Well let me tell you folks that those books just made me so- so red-hopping mad!
Thomas: Pamela, control yourself!
Pam: Pardon the cussing but that's how I felt! But now I see that the books did impart some good moral messages.
Thomas: Even the author herself announced that Deathly Hallows had Christian connotations what with the resurrection scene and the power of Christian love to conquer evil-
Jeffrey: Ah, yes: "And the LORD awoke Harry Potter from the slumber of death and bequeathed unto him the sword of righteousness. The LORD said to Harry, 'Arise Christian soldier, and by my holy hand slay the abominable forces of You-Know-Who.'
Pam: . . .
Thomas: . . .
Jeffrey: Deathly Hallows . . . page 743.
Thomas: Okay, then it's settled. Let's move on to our next order of business: Writing an apology note to J. K. Rowling-
Samuel (throwing open the entrance door): WAIT!
(Samuel staggers up to Thomas and whispers something in his ear before keeling over dead.)
Thomas: Christians, the time has come: Load the crucifixes, we're heading to England.

RIP '09