Dumbledore Is Gay: Letter

Dear fans,

I am overjoyed to hear that my recent announcement of Dumbledore's homosexuality has been met with near universal applaud and understanding. In light of such a positive response, I now feel encouraged to reveal many other background details of the series that further demonstrate just how progressive and laudable my books are.

To begin, fans may be surprised to learn that Harry's close friend Ron Weasley is also gay. So are Fred and George Weasley, Percy Weasley, Sirius Black, and the entire house of Hufflepuff. I hasten to add that any male character that the reader never sees dating a girl is also most certainly gay.

Here's another juicy one for you: Professor McGonagall is a post-op transsexual. I did this to show people, hey, transsexuals deserve our love too. Isn't that wonderful?

Hermione Granger, Harry's other close friend, is an oppressed black woman. I'm thinking, say, Rosa Parks. Something like a magical time warp and transformation thing turned her into Hermione and she forgot all about it. Remember, there's an important social message in my books, and it becomes clear only when I reveal these startling details afterward.

On that note, every wizard who has ever existed and ever will exist is a Jew. Hogwarts is in Israel.

Best,
J.K.

JSG '09