Lap of the Gods – The Harvard Lampoon

Lap of the Gods

| Issue Editor: EFM '09 | Art Editor:

Lap of the Gods

Issue Editor: EFM '09

Art Editor:

Hello, everyone. I’m getting feedback now from various national news stations on your planet, who are just now tuning in. I trust you will stop me if the static gets too loud on my end. Can you all see me? Mr. President? Prime Ministers? I’m just looking into an enormous camera lens hereabout an inch from my face and I’m starting to feel very claustrophobic. Am I good? Great. Oh, and we have the conference screen working now! Wonderful! Hello, hello. The last thing I wanted there was to sit flapping my “gums” like some sort of retard because you all couldn’t hear me. That would have been embarrassing.