Julia Child – The Harvard Lampoon

Dessert Island #

| Issue Editor: NJL '15 | Art Editor: YZ '17

Julia Child

  ING '16 , Art: SAE '17

SAE julia child

Before she was a celebrity chef, Julia Child worked as a spy for the OSS.


— Verdammt. What’s that ticking noise?

(enormous explosion)

(a figure appears, shrouded in smoke)

— Bon Appetit, bitch.


— You’ll never take me alive.

— Of course, dear. Beignet?

— No tricks?

— No tricks.                            


— And with this button, I’ll destroy North America.

— Hold it right there, Hans.

— Julia. How did you find me?

— It was easy as meringue pie.

— (sniffs) Do you smell burning?

— Shit, the pie.

— I’ll wait.


— Tell me the launch codes. Or I’ll julienne your tongue.

— Are those oatmeal-raisin?

— Don’t touch those. Those aren’t for you.


— Julia, how do you get this coq au vin so tender?

— Sally, if I told you, I’d have to kill you.