Alien Invasion – The Harvard Lampoon

Politics As Usual #

| Issue Editor: JDH '14 | Art Editor: SLK '16

Alien Invasion

  EIS '16 , Art: SLK '16


ALIEN: Cower, humans! Why do you not bow before your new overlords?

HUMAN: No, yeah. It’s just…you look a lot like horses.

ALIEN: Your earth-rivers will run red with human blood.

HUMAN: Here, have a sugarcube.

ALIEN: A cube made of sugar?

HUMAN: Yeah.

ALIEN: Amazing.

ALIEN: Watch as my laser eviscerates your puny man-spleen, humanoid.

HUMAN: My, what a shiny coat you have.

ALIEN: Thank you.

HUMAN: Giddy up, Bessie!

ALIEN: It’s Blorg, servile human.

HUMAN: Sorry. Should I get off?

ALIEN: No. This feels incredible.

HUMAN: Do you want to put this metal bit in your mouth, maybe?

ALIEN: Absolutely.

ALIEN 1: It doesn’t add up. We have better technology, better weapons…yet we can’t seem to conquer Earth.

ALIEN 2: Hey have you had one of these sugarcubes yet?

ALIEN 1: No. Good?

ALIEN 2: Unreal.

ALIEN: You know, I wasn’t always a horse.

HORSE: (grazes)