Alumni Message Board – The Harvard Lampoon

Let It Ride #

| Issue Editor: ERB '14 | Art Editor: SHR '15

Alumni Message Board

  GWN '16

Hi, St. Michael’s folk—greetings from a recent semi-alum. My sister, class of 2015, is
working on a piece for The Michaelmass about the new dining hall and was looking for
people who remember the old one. Please let me know if you do!
Eli Forste

CLAM HANDS!!! Haven’t heard from you in forever douche. Miss ya,
Peter Santorchi

Yo Clam Hands! You got a sister? How old is she? Haha, just kidding man. The whole
sidewalk gang misses you,
Mikey Walker

Dear Eli, Walter Peterson class of ’72 here. The best advice I can give you is to delete
your post and cease all contact with the St. Michael’s Boarding School community—both
online and in person. You are still being prosecuted in the state of Connecticut and all
documents, either on paper or online, are eligible to be used against you. This advice is
officially UNSOLICITED. Go Saints.
Walter Peterson

Never got the nickname, but always loved the man! Clam Hands, you rule.
Jack Bruno

You taught me what the true use of magnifying glass was. My life has never been the
same. Forever in your debt Clam Hands,
Eamon Hedges

Clam Hands strikes again! You are the man. Think about you every second of every day.
Vinny Tullo

Clam Hands! The ringing in my ears won’t go away. Never change,
Max Finocchia

They said you wouldn’t do it. Well let’s just say I think the Chinese are whistling a
different tune now. You are the man, Clam Hands.
Stevey Zeitlein

Can’t go near water ever again because of you.
Michael McCarthy

8 women, 2 nights, 1 Clam Hands.
Sam Fein