Aristotle – The Harvard Lampoon

High Life #

| Issue Editor: BLWS '15 | Art Editor: CMM '16

Aristotle

  CHS '17 , Art: KAM '17

KAM aristotle CHS

Historians are divided on which translation of Aristotle best communicates the original intent.

 

On The Good Life:

Powers, 1979

“The Good Life is about happiness.”

Harrington, 1988

“The Good Life is about height.”

Bed Bath & Beyond, 2015, “Cozy Classics” Series

“The Good Life is about a soft memory-foam mattress with Sheet Heat.”

 

On Ethics:

Powers

“An ethical man is an honest man.”

Harrington

“An ethical man is a tall man.”

Bed Bath & Beyond

“It would be unethical not to take advantage of the fall blowout sale. If you don’t, you will go to Greek hell.”

 

On Language:

Powers

“Language separates humankind from the animal kingdom.”

Harrington

“If you aren’t tall don’t bother talking to me.”

Bed Bath & Beyond

“Greek is a really complicated language and can be interpreted in many ways. Buy some sinks.”

 

On Politics:

Powers

“Any responsible citizen must participate in politics.”

Harrington

“Elect a short man to political office? No. No. A hundred times no.”

Bed Bath & Beyond

[Section on politics omitted in favor of color advertisements for tubs.]

 

On Family:

Powers

“The family is the central unit of human society.”

Harrington

“If my son were short I would not disown him because family is that important.”

Bed Bath & Beyond

“Family is everything.”