The Knighting Ceremony, Elianté-1517
As you gaze upon this Renaissance oil painting, carefully note its vivid colors. Look in close, but never ever touch. Notice how the queen holds a mighty sword symbolizing imperialism. Note how the crowd keeps their hands to themselves.
The Glen of Christ, Belvin-1521
Belvin uses light and shadow (chiaroscuro) to make the glen feel three-dimensional, but it’s not. While many are quick to note the stark realism and vivid line contour, few fail to realize the Swiss Police have no jurisdiction in this museum (fact). We can do whatever we want to touchers.
Venice Canals, Rueben Paul-1556
This work, in particular, utilizes vanishing points. That is also what we call the rooms where touchers go. While it’s easy to imagine the pictured gondolier singing, imagine him touching a work of art, which he did not create. Imagine the shame.
The Sobbing Mary, Rueben Paul, 1543
This work is an example of formalist psychosexual religiosity, but anyone with eyes could know that. To touch this fresco is to touch brittle denim. It is to feel the essence of springtime. It is to experience what you are not allowed to under any circumstance.
Night Comes Again, Jacobson-1538
Take in the complex color wash on this Jacobson original. Appreciate the detail work on the moon, the painting’s famousness, or even its museum-given frame. Try to find something else about this painting that is interesting. It may only know my touch.