Betty Crocker – The Harvard Lampoon

Lampy's Golden Age #

| Issue Editor: BAS '14 | Art Editor: ECM '15

Betty Crocker

  NJL '15

Betty Crocker created a line of specialty cakes to inform people of important life events.   

It’s a Girl Cake

Doctor: Are you all ready to know the gender of the kid?

Father: Oh yes!

Doctor brings out cake.

Father: Woohoo! Cake!  

Will You Marry Me, Tina? Cake

Bill: I have something to ask you.

Waiter serves cake.

Jessica: …who is Tina?

Bill: Sorry, they were out of Jessica.

We’re Moving to Tucson Cake

Daughter: Mom, what are you doing with that instant cake mix?

Mom: It’s not important.

Daughter: But it says “Moving to Tucson Cake”.

Mom: I thought it would be the best way to break the news.

Daughter starts crying, sadly eats batter.

We Find Him Guilty of Involuntary Manslaughter Cake

Jury: The voting was unanimous.

Judge: What took you so long?

Jury: We forgot to preheat the oven.

Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Diagnosis Cake

Doctor: So we have the results… are you ready for me to cut the cake?

Patient: I’d really just like to know if I should start the treatment.

Doctor cuts cake.

Doctor: It’s Vanilla! You need to start treatment immediately.