Big Cojones – The Harvard Lampoon

Let It Ride #

| Issue Editor: ERB '14 | Art Editor: SHR '15

Big Cojones

  CWW '16

Carlos: You ain’t from these parts, huh, ese?


Me
: No, I was — just passing through for a drink.


Carlos
: Looks like I have to challenge this drifter to some Big Cojones.


Me
: Big — Cojones?


Carlos
: Ancient game of skill we play here. Separates the men from the boys.


Estevan
: Somebody say Cojones? I’ll get the board.


Carlos
: Gonna teach Drifter here some manners. Best tell your mama you love her.


Me
: Uh, okay, how do you play?


Estevan
: Rules: You drop your piece into the slot. Try to make a line of four pieces.


Me
: Oh, so it’s Connect-Four?


Carlos
: No. It is not Connect-Four. It is different.


Me
: Yeah, but the rules are the exact same as Connect-Four.


Estevan
: This is our ancestors’ contest. The pieces are of ox-skull and snake-tooth.


Carlos
: Boy, we’re talking Cojones here, not some family-game-night foolery.


Me
: No, yeah, I’m just saying it’s the same rules.