I always had a false nostalgia for the music of my parents’ generation.
Me: I listened to Classics 105.7 until I heard the hits I wanted to record onto this tape for you.
Crush: Wow, that’s super inefficient.
Dad: Did she just say that on the radio?
Me: Janis Ian is so edgy.
Dad: I think this is Alanis Morissette.
Dad: Please stop making your Beanie Babies dance on the dashboard.
Me: “Freebird” has such a groundbreaking guitar solo.
Mom: This song has been lame for 20 years.
Me: Christ, Mom. Just once.
Mom: How do you stand this noise?
Me: (guiltily looks up from dial-up Internet)