Budget Cut Speech – The Harvard Lampoon

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| Issue Editor: WCS '11 | Art Editor: IVP '12

Budget Cut Speech

  CAS '12


I was elected on the promise that I would cut the US Budget, and by God I am going to do it. My critics said this was an impossible task, but here are a few simple things that nobody would even miss that much.

  1.     $5 billion on faster scorpions: CUT THIS!
  2.     $100 billion on machines that create bad dreams for all Americans: CUT!
  3.     $200 billion for The National Woman Hitting League: NOT ON MY WATCH!

God Bless You, and God Bless America.