Business Meeting – The Harvard Lampoon

Last Ditch Effort #

| Issue Editor: HLD '18 | Art Editor: KDF '19

Business Meeting

  LRK '21

Waiter: Order up! We got a sauerkraut loaf, extra creamed fats, and a side of shackley beef tips!

Client: You must have the wrong table. No one here would order that.

Banker: Uh yeah…that sounds disgusting to me.

Waiter: Special instructions to cook in oxen oil? Allergy to skinned meats? Name on order is Shebakino!

Client: Wait a minute…isn’t your name Shebakino?

Banker: (in a low voice) Hm? Um, well yep that’s me.

Client: So getting back to business—

Waiter: We got another order up! Hackled beans on a bed of suckled lettuces! Same allergy recorded!

Client: We already have our food. If you wouldn’t mind interrupting us as we are in a meeting.

Waiter: And the name on the order issss…. SHE-BAK-I-NOOOOO!

Banker: Must be a different Shebakino. I already got my meal.

Waiter: (listening to earpiece) We’re now hearing that this was our 10,000th order! Let the serenading begin!!

Hundreds of waiters emerge and begin walking toward the table. They are carrying candles and waving long ribbon banners. As they approach the table, it is clear that they are each one leg of a giant centipede costume. They begin to sing:

Show us your tuckus and you get a free meal (clap! clap!) show us your tuckus just a tiny reveal!

Banker: (shows tuckus)

Client: We have a deal.