Businessmen – The Harvard Lampoon

Cruisin' For Burgers #

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  OTLB '13

(shuffling papers) Son, this is one helluva third-quarter.

—Thank you, sir.

—You do know I think of you as a son, right?

—Thank you, Father.

—Let me state the ways you impress me: business-savvy and athleticism.

—Very kind, Papa.

—You can play toe-to-toe with the big boys.

—I learned from the best Pops and that’s you.

—But that doesn’t mean you make me proud.

—Would never assume so, Dad.

—My respect cannot be bought and I think you are a coward.

—Fair enough. May I ask one question?

—It better damn well be good.

—Dad, was this all a test?

(slight hesitation) Yes.

—And did I pass?

(hands over keys to motorcar) What do you think?

—I got the big promotion woohoo!


—This is great! Yay yay yay!

—Yip hip yip hip rah rah! High Blessings.

—High Blessings.