Changes – The Harvard Lampoon

Changes

  CKJ '04

 

After I started using Viagra, people at work sure noticed the difference, but they had trouble pinpointing exactly what had changed:

 

John: Hey, Bill. You look different…did you get a haircut?

Me: Nope.

John: Well I told you to get a haircut last week–you’re fired!

 

Lyle: Bill, you look fantastic. Is the missus pregnant again?

Me: No, but with my new Viag–

Lyle: Listen, I got your wife pregnant. I’m so sorry.

 

Jessica: I hear the wife is pregnant!

Me: I think there’s been a mistake–

Jessica: I was talking to Lyle.

 

Wendy: Bill, you have an enormous erection.  Is it because of my new breasts?

 

Gary: Bill, I see you’ve started using Viagra!

Me: I’m surprised you noticed.

Gary: Well you look a lot fatter.

Me: Fatter in the penis?

Gary: Actually, no.