Classroom Announcement – The Harvard Lampoon

The Grass is Greener #

| Issue Editor: CHS '17 | Art Editor: AEV '18

Classroom Announcement

  AJ '18

Teacher: Children, little Alice has something to tell you all.
Alice: (shuffling nervously) My parents are mo–
Children: (laughing) Your parents are mooing? So your parents are cows? Ha!
Alice: (flustered) No, my parents are pe–
Children: (laughing uproariously) Your parents are pee? You have peepee parents? Ha ha!
Alice: (tearing up) No, my dad is go–
Children: (falling down laughing) Your dad is gonads?! Ha! Gonads gonads gonads!
Alice: (openly crying) MY DAD IS GOING TO JAIL FOR SECURITIES FRAUD.
(silence)
Children: (rolling on the ground) YOUR DAD IS BLOWING THE MAILMAN WHO’S AN
IMMATURE DOG?! HAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!!
Teacher: (wry smile) Now, now, children.