DNA Evidence – The Harvard Lampoon

The 90s #

| Issue Editor: WDG '13 | Art Editor: KAE '13

DNA Evidence

  RAK '13

Defense Lawyer: Your honor, this knife was found at the crime scene, absolutely covered in human DNA.

Judge: Alright Killtron, you’re free to go.

Killtron: Oh thank god.

Judge: You just stay clean, Killtron.

Mikey: Hey Mister, can you throw us that ball?

Mom: Michael! Don’t you go near that Killtron! He’s the bad one from TV.

Killtron: I was exonerated, the DNA said–

Mom: You stay away from my boy you bad Killtron.

Killtron: Haha, that’s so crazy. I love Yoko Ono!

Jess: Wow Killtron, I’ve never met a guy like you. But…

Killtron: But you can’t be with someone who was accused of murder.

Jess: No no, it’s more about your chainsaw hands.

Killtron: Yeah. I’ll bet.