Spotty is a dog hero. Here are some heroic things he has done recently.
Bank Robber: Everybody down! This is a robbery!
Spotty: (Trots into bank safe. Begins eating giant chunk of ham. Sirens start blaring.)
Bank Manager: That ham-based alarm system was the best decision we ever made.
Mugger: Hand over your wallet and nobody gets hurt.
Spotty: (Trots after giant ball of ham rolling down the street.)
Butcher: (Chasing Spotty) Get that ham, Spotty! Hey… what’s going on here?
Mugger: Uh, don’t want no trouble.
Butcher: When Spotty gets back here, he’s going to do some bad things to you.
Terrorist: And now to activate the car bomb.
Spotty: (Sees huge truck of ham and starts wagging tail so hard it knocks the terrorist’s detonator into a gutter.)
Terrorist: This ruins my entire plan.
Criminal: I was going to commit a crime today, but why? That dog knows what’s really important in life.
Spotty: (Sits licking piles of sliced ham arranged to spell “FAMILY”.)