In the Revolutionary War, young men were used to guide troops into battle with a drumbeat.
Drummer boy: Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually going into battle.
Commander: Yes, and you will be out on our front line, guiding this glorious battalion into the fight.
Drummer boy: Oh. So, you put the new guys in the front? Because I thought, since it’s my first time, that I would sort of just stay in the back and see how things work.
Commander: You are in front because your title demands it.
Drummer boy: I never even knew I had a title. I mean, I just joined this morning.
Soldier: The redcoats are approaching! Be prepared to fire!
Drummer: You guys haven’t even given me a rifle yet. Like, I’m out in the middle of this field, surrounded on all sides by people with rifles, and all I have is this drum.
Soldier: Hold your rifles tight, troops! God knows you’ll need them to live!
Drummer Boy: I mean, could you imagine? Some guy playing a drum right in the middle of all this? He’d be dead pretty quickly.
Soldier: Sir, the only guy we hit so far was their unarmed drummer boy. He went down really fast.
Commander: They always do. Are you ready, Drummer Boy?
Drummer boy: I’m fifteen.
Commander: March on three.