– I come from a very important family.
– Just tell me the name you want me to write on the check.
– Johnny Three-Fifths-Compromise.
– As in… the Three Fifths Compromise? With the slaves?
– You’ve probably heard of me.
– I don’t understand. Were you responsible for the Three Fifths Compromise of 1787?
– God no! I’m the son of Dennis Three, Randall Fifths, and Jerry Compromise. The first three-man childbirth. It was all over the news.
– Oh that’s right, I remember. Can I get an autograph?
– The scientists messed me up. I have no fingers.