Fly on the Wall – The Harvard Lampoon

Young and Misunderstood #

| Issue Editor: CCSW '18 | Art Editor: KDF '19

Fly on the Wall

  MGM '19

In pivotal moments of history, one must wonder what discussions happened behind closed doors.

Advisor: Mr. President, Pearl Harbor as been attacked.

Roosevelt: My God. By who? How many casualties?

Advisor: The Japanese Empire, too many to know, but it will be well above 1,000 lives lost. *swats at air*

Roosevelt: Jesus Christ. *slaps face* Alright, get the vice president in here, and get anyone on the ground in Hawaii on the phone.

Advisor: Yes Sir.

Vice President: You called, Mr. President? *Jerks head to side*

Roosevelt: Yes, there’s been an attack, our naval base in Hawaii is under siege.

Vice President: Lord have mercy, was it the Japanese? *claps hands really loudly* We knew it
was only going to be a matter of time.

Roosevelt: *Slams hand on table, lifts hand slowly* God I almost had em! Yes it was the Japanese, war is imminent.

Vice President: *swats at fly and knocks it to the ground* Hell yeah!!

Roosevelt: *stomps on fly* Yeah! That’s right! You can’t mess with us! Not in this office! Not in this damn country!

Vice President and Roosevelt: USA! USA! USA!