George Eliot – The Harvard Lampoon

Man of All Seasons#

| Issue Editor: ZJK '05 | Art Editor: MDP '05

George Eliot

  AIM '06

As many know, “George Eliot” was the pen name of prolific author Mary Ann Evans. Eventually, Mary Ann’s true identity was revealed, but it certainly took awhile for people to get used to it.

Sir Bedford: Mill on the Floss is a magnificent work of masculine accomplishment. 
Sir Tallery: I agree, it is quite well written and manly in every way 
Mary Ann: Gentlemen, you invited me over to discuss poetics. You can see I am clearly a woman. George Eliot was my pen name.
Sir Tallery: Look here, if you are indeed a woman, then why aren’t you baking scones right now?
Sir Bedford: Yes, I too would like to hear this explanation for why you aren’t baking scones. 
Mary Ann: George Eliot was just a name. I was afraid of writing as Mary Ann. 
Sir Bedford: And I am afraid of liars, Mr. Eliot.

Mary Ann: With five skirts on, surely no one will mistake me for a man this time.
Commoner: Look! George Eliot is wearing many skirts!
Mary Ann: Finally!
Member of Parliament: Quiet, commoner! That’s no way to speak of a man of distinction! Very nice billow-pants, Sir Eliot. 

Mary Ann: I simply don’t understand how you made the transition, Charlotte. You published as a man, but were eventually accepted as a woman.
Charlotte Bronte: Well, I’ve got a little secret for you.
Mary Ann: Yes?
Charlotte: I’m Emily. There never was a Charlotte.
Mary Ann: Never?
Charlotte: Yes. Well, in the sense that I murdered her years ago.