How To Draw a Cat – The Harvard Lampoon

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| Issue Editor: EIS '16 | Art Editor: MY '16

How To Draw a Cat

  EIS '16
  1.     Find a cat. It will be your muse. You’ll need a cat trap (upside-down laundry basket), or a cat-o-ray (handgun).
  2.     Set the cat down amid some pinecones or grapes or topiary or a pack of larger cats. Play with the cat to put it at ease. Do not let the cat move.
  3.     You’ll want to draw the face first. Do not do this. Do not go rogue. I am the teacher here. I am the law.
  4.     Draw one ear, then the other, east to west. You can make them as pointy or as round as you like. Not too round. We are not drawing a panda. We are drawing a cat.
  5.     Soon your cat will be complete. There are some key players you’ll need to know: Pierre, Gustavo, Fat Gustavo. Pierre and Gustavo curate galleries. Fat Gustavo is a cat.
  6.     Call Pierre. Set up a brunch, but don’t tell him where. He’ll know. You will not know. This step is crucial. Cat-drawing is 30% schmoozing.
  7.     Cat-drawing is 100% drawing cats. Get back in the studio and draw you some cat.
  8.     The eyes. Two dots, with two circles around them. Brooding. Like your cat knows something it wished it didn’t.
  9.     Paws are tough. Don’t worry about those.
  10.  Brunch with Pierre. Order the eggs benedict. Offer to split a pancake. He’ll turn you down, but he’ll know you mean business. Pour your bellini into his right front pocket. Pocket wet, he will ruminate on the sublime. Order a mimosa. Congratulations. You’ve just secured gallery space and a gala for next month.

11.  The art world can be daunting, but don’t worry. The paws come easier as you go.