If Cruella De Vil Had Succeeded – The Harvard Lampoon

My Animal Friends #

| Issue Editor: CAS '12 | Art Editor:

If Cruella De Vil Had Succeeded

  JDA '12

Coat maker: Here you go, ma’am. It’s a beautiful coat.

Cruella: Yes, it is. Mwah-ha-ha! Mwah—

Coat maker: And the ninety-seven extra dog carcasses are outback.

Cruella: The what?

Coat maker: The extras. It only takes four dogs to make a coat.

Cruella: Four? But…we killed over a hundred.

Coat maker: Yeah, one hundred and one. Definitely the most dead dogs I’ve ever seen. The carcasses are out back under a tarp.

Cruella: God, what have I done? How could I have miscalculated so badly?

Coat maker: Having them around wasn’t all bad. I knew if I messed up on the seams, I could just start over with a new dog.

Cruella: Oh, good.

Coat maker: I didn’t though. I didn’t mess up.

Cruella: I think I’m going to be sick.

Coat maker: I actually used fewer dogs on this coat than I normally do. It’s a really great coat.