Interview – The Harvard Lampoon

The Grass is Greener #

| Issue Editor: CHS '17 | Art Editor: AEV '18

Interview

  SHK '18

Part 1: Behavioral and Fit

(Manager enters, running. Boss whispers in his ear while Manager nods fervently.)
Manager: Ok, here’s the situation: Boss wants you to show him the Ol’ Razzle-Dazzle.
Applicant: I don’t know quite what you mean?
Manager: You know, the Fraz-ma-taz. Give him some of that Twirly-McWhirly.
Boss (over intercom): Sass! Me! Up!

Part 2: Meeting the Team

Applicant: So, what does a typical day look like for you?
Manager: First thing, I meet with Boss. Make sure to Double whammy ‘em, Bamboozle
‘em, give him the Troozle-eh. Nothings good enough if you’re not Paroozin ‘em.
(Singing) Nothing!!!! Is worth the dime.
After that, I meet with the client to go over earnings and show them the Flim Flam
Flambulous.

Part 3: Technical Assessment

Applicant (to the beat of the drum): (Lying face down on the floor, lifts legs towards
shoulders and gives a slow wink like he’s Babydoll Sue. Gives the Ol’ Razzle-Dazzle.)
Manager: Pretty good….
Boss: But not great.

Coda

After hours. Boss enters with top hat and dancing cane. He Pitter Patters about before
Tip Tap Paddy Wapping his way on over to the single spot light. With slender leg and
pointed foot high in the air, delivers an emotional rendition of The Jimtown Jimboree.
The sound of a single slow clap is heard, which soon grows into a hearty applause. The
office lights turn on to reveal a room full of Applicants clapping and weeping.

Happy birthday, you Rag-time Rascal.