LADIES – The Harvard Lampoon

# From Venus

| Issue Editor: RJS '17 | Art Editor: KAM '17

LADIES

  MAS '18

Hey LADIES,

Yeah?! I am just a humble pop artist with thirty seconds to kill during the bridge of my latest song. Now it’s time to hear from you. How are you? Ladies, let me hear you. Ladies, scream and shout.

Ladies, I’ve been speaking and taking up space for about three minutes. My problems with this broken heart may be bad, but they’re nowhere near as bad as what ladies must deal with. Ladies from around the world, what are your concerns? Ladies, now is the time to be heard.

Put your hands to the sky, ladies. Not for me to call on you—that power dynamic isn’t groovy. Put your hands to the sky because we’re sharing a night of empowerment at this club.

Okay, now fellas. Yeah! Dialogues about gender are just that, dialogues, so let’s hear from you. From the fellas in the back to the fellas in the front, let’s hear how gender roles have impacted your life. But don’t talk too much, fellas. You’ve had thousands of years to do that. Let’s bring it back, back, back, to the ladies.

Ladies, I’ll let you have the last word before the final chorus. What are things we’ve missed in this dialogue and how can we reframe those conversations for the rest of my album? Ladies from the East to the West, from San Antonio to Chi-town’s best, these are issues that affect us all. I appreciate you speaking up, though it’s not your responsibility to constantly educate the fellas.

Let me hear you clap your hands for the understanding we’ve reached here. Ladies, let’s bring that chorus back.