Lineup – The Harvard Lampoon

The Burnout #

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Lineup

  HHD '09

Detective: All right, I know you didn’t see your attacker’s face, but I’m going to see if you can pick him out of a lineup by recognizing his voice.
Man: I’ll do my best.
Detective (to lineup): Okay guys, starting with number 1, everyone say the line “Get on the ground and spread your legs.”
Number One: Get on the ground and spread your legs.
Number Two: Get on the ground and spread your legs.
Number Three: Get on the ground and spread your legs.
Louis Armstrong: Geeeeeeee-
Victim: Him. It was that guy.
Detective: Are you sure?
Man: Yes.
Louis Armstrong: Bippity bow wow wow!
Man: He…he can’t see me, can he?