Locker Room – The Harvard Lampoon

Break of Day #

| Issue Editor: NM '17 | Art Editor: BAB '17

Locker Room

  HFJ '18

-Hey Rebecca, come look through this hole.

-The boys’ locker room?? This feels creepy.

-Take a look and then tell me you don’t like what you see.

-Are they going over… strategy?

-Who cares? Look at those abs!

-Can’t wait to see the team jersey over the top of those.

-Pretty awesome, huh?

-The X’s. The O’s.

-And how did Mike get so buff?

-Probably a lot of upper body workouts. He’ll need that strength against Central. We couldn’t score down low last time, but if he uses his muscles to establish position in the post, we won’t just score. We’ll get offensive rebounds.

-You’re practically drooling!

-The things I’d do with these boys. I’d lead them to state.

-Shhh, Becca, they’re gonna hear us!

(into peephole) Run a zone! You need to run a zone!

-What are you stuffing into the hole??

-I drew up some plays.

-Sex plays?

-Yes… sex plays.

-You’re an absolute freak.