Sometimes my mom can be such a cockblock.
ME: My mom and I love this place.
EMMA: Your mom’s here?!
ME: Well, she’s not exactly “here” anymore, but I keep a picture of her in my wallet.
EMMA: I’m so sorry.
ME: Yeah. Can I get your number?
ME: So what do you do when you’re not clubbing?
LAUREN: I study at the local university.
LAUREN: You seem upset.
ME: Mom went to college…
LAUREN: Are you okay? Would you like a hug?
ME: I would like one.
TANYA: Do you come here a lot?
ME: Hey, I’m Jacob. My friends call me Jake.
BETH: I’m Beth. My friends call me Mom.
ME: That’s a great name.