My Weekend by Denis Overvold – The Harvard Lampoon

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| Issue Editor: GMS '09 | Art Editor: GMS '09

My Weekend by Denis Overvold

  AMG '10

Your name is spelled how?” expectorated Mark loudly, kind of laughing but also kind of questioning. 

“It is spelled D-E-N-I-S,” spelled out Denis. 

Mark looked at Denis. And Denis looked at Mark. But Mark looked much more confused than Denis, almost as if he was about to ask another question. 

Mark asked another question. “But isn’t that spelled just like… you know?”

“Yes,” confirmed Denis, shyly, “it is spelled an awful lot like that thing. 

The room grew silent again. Mark could—

“Hi Denis!” yelled Denis’s unexpectedly just-arrived friends, Boob and Shagina. Shagina noticed Denis’s unhappy gloominess. “Why the long face, Dick?”

“It’s just… well, Mark is asking me about the spelling of my name,” said Denis quite sheepishly. Denis often went by “Dick for short.

Mark looked at the unfriendly faces of Denis’s friends. 

“Look who’s talking,” Boob ejaculated loudly. “In Spanish, Mark is… well… what it is… is it’s slang for a gay blowjob given on a toilet seat.” Boob is known to other people as Greg Lyon but he is friends with Denis. 

Yeah,” seconded Shagina, “gay blowjob, toilet seat.”

Denis and Boob and Shagina then left to go play somewhere else and Mark was sad and alone because his name is stupid.