Problem – The Harvard Lampoon

The Burnout #

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  JBO '10

“A few days ago, a fellow came to me with a problem. ‘My marriage is on the rocks,” he said. “My job is going nowhere. And soon I’m going to be incinerated in a comet just like everyone else.’ But is that a reason to lose hope? Certainly, these are trying times. One cannot turn on the television without seeing a countdown clock on every channel, or turn on the radio without hearing it read out second by second. One cannot go to the supermarket without looting and setting things on fire. One cannot go to the Forbidden Zone without murdering people with a chain. One cannot go to the bank, the theater, the library, the park, as all of these places are filled with “goodbye” orgies.


In summary, the most important thing to do right now is to stay Christian.”