– We’ve kidnapped the woman you love. If you ever –
– Oh my God, Sarah?!
– Sarah? No, we’ve got Mary.
– Oh, yeah, Mary.
– She’s not your girlfriend?
– No, Mary’s my girlfriend. Or we’re dating, at least.
– Then who’s Sarah?
– She’s someone I dated a year ago, before she…anyway, you got Mary?
– Yeah, and if you want her back, you’re gonna have to pay us one million dollars.
– Woah, that much?
– But you’re a multi-millionaire, right?
– I am, but…did Mary call herself my girlfriend?
– Look, she’s gonna die if you don’t pay up.
– But I worry about leading her on too much. What’s that sound?
– She’s hyperventilating through her tape gag.
– Ugh, I hate it when she mouth-breathes. Can I have some time to think about this?
– You have one week.
– So next week…hey, that’s my birthday!
– We’re gonna start pistol-whipping her after you hang up.
– Wow, you guys are good. How much to do the same to Sarah so I can bail her out?
– Two million.
– Done, great. Talk to you soon.