Ransom Note – The Harvard Lampoon

Big & Nasty #

| Issue Editor: JOM '13 | Art Editor: NL '13

Ransom Note

  ERB '14

We have your child. If you listen to our fitness experts and Do Sinners Have Hearts? what we say, we will “Do no harm unto others,” he declares remorsefully.

Our Three Rules For a Flat Tummy are easy to follow. First, do not Please contact us for questions or comments. Sec0nd, We accept cash only; no credit cards. Third, There will be no policemen captured the troubled teenager after inflicting him with two non-fatal wounds. “It broke my heart and tibia,” he states.

The secret to six-pack success is simple: at 15 Cherrywood Lane is your listed address minutes past noon, go to our website at the corner of Wilmington and 13th Street, where he had run an overpriced lemonade stand as an underprivileged child.

Please provide that million-dollar look in only 100 “Dollar bills are not the meaning of existence,” he now understands. Place funds into a duffle bag with yoga mat in tow and put in the trash can,” he says in the middle of his required community service work, a layered commentary on his born-again life.

If you follow our guidelines for subscription renewal, we will return your feel like a kid again in perfect collector’s condition or your money back guaranteed.

Be careful of hidden carbs. We will ponder acts of violence these days, I have to go somewhere quiet to have myself a think and a cry,” he weeps if necessary. We thank you for your loyal readership, Mr. Glen L. Kindler, and the staff of Inspiration Weekly hopes you continue to frequent our pages.

OR ELSE the flab will return.