Revenge Fantasies – The Harvard Lampoon

Smash and Grab #

| Issue Editor: ZEW '14 | Art Editor: SSR '15

Revenge Fantasies

  EHP '15

My seventh-grade boyfriend breaks up with me

I play a mind-bending guitar solo with the faculty band.

A bird poops on my head

The joy I find in Nature persists.

My sister raises her voice

“Now, that’s going just a little too far.”

My passive-aggressive cousin ruins vacation

No, only I can ruin my own vacation.

My parents say I’ll regret not going to college

Regardless, I am highly self-actualized.

I am jumped while waiting for the subway

It was just my wallet, but it was his innocence.

I am jumped while waiting for the subway again

I kill without hesitation.