Role Playing – The Harvard Lampoon

Crime and Punishment #

| Issue Editor: AN '06 | Art Editor: AN '06

Role Playing

  SHR '07

Teacher: All right class, today we’re going to be learning about the political landscape that led to the Civil War. Let’s start with a little role playing exercise. First we need someone to play the part of a Southern slave owner…okay, let’s say…Seymour.

Seymour: What?

Teacher: Great. Now we need someone to play a Northern abolitionist. Raise your hand if you want to volunteer. Okay – – I guess that’s everybody else. Great, let’s begin.

Sophie: How many innocent people must die to satisfy your greed, Seymour?

Karen: You’re a monster, Seymour, (crying) A monster.

Seymour: What’s happening? I’m against slavery – I swear!

Teacher: I don’t think that’s something a slave owner would say, Seymour. Remember, you’re being graded on this.

Seymour: Urn…I guess, then, slavery…is good?

Teacher: Of all the villains in the history of this nation, you Seymour, are by far the most terrifying. I can’t even look you in the face. You make my skin crawl.

Seymour: I thought you said it was a role playing exercise?

Teacher: I’m also doing the exercise. I’m an abolitionist.