Shisbos™ – The Harvard Lampoon

This Time Tomorrow #

| Issue Editor: OTLB '13 | Art Editor: DRB '14

Shisbos™

  EDH '14

TIMMY: Hey guys look what my mom just bought!

RYAN: Shisbos!

BEN: The gummy snacks with a head-changing burst of Taste-Splosion?

RYAN: You bet. Let’s try’em!

TIMMY: My Shisbo tasted like watermelon and my head turned into a watermelon!

RYAN: My Shisbo tasted like cherries and now I have three different cherry-heads!

TIMMY: Ben what did your Shisbo taste li – whoah!

RYAN: Oh my god.

TIMMY: What is that?

RYAN: Is that…high fructose corn syrup?

TIMMY: I thought Shisbos were supposed to turn your head into fruit.

RYAN: Yeah, me too.

TIMMY: Wait, so, what else is in them?

RYAN: Maltodextrin, Carageenan, Xantham gum, there’s like barely any fruit in these.

TIMMY: But how do they get their Fruit-Flavr?

RYAN: Ben’s head is all over the floor now. Do you think he can hear us?

TIMMY: I mean, no, how?

RYAN: He’s still standing.

TIMMY: Just standing, staring at us.

RYAN: How can you tell he’s staring?

TIMMY: It’s like, I feel it. I guess.

(silence)

TIMMY: It looks like Ben’s exploring his surroundings.

RYAN: I think he’s trying to eat something.

TIMMY: He clearly can’t but it’s like his body knows.

RYAN: Like it’s doing his routine for him. Like it remembers.

TIMMY: Do you think he’s conscious? What if his soul is gone?

RYAN: This is crazy.

TIMMY: Yeah. Shisbo-Krazeee.