SPORTS AROUND THE WORLD – The Harvard Lampoon

Harvard College World Travel Guide

| Issue Editor: MMM '20 | Art Editor: MAK '21

SPORTS AROUND THE WORLD

  MMM '20   MJS '19   JGS '20

In America, sports are the number one form of athletic entertainment. But did you know that most American sports are not played anywhere else in the world? Here are some of the most popular sports in the world I discovered in my one week trip around the globe.

Tirana, Albania: Dogfighting

Hey, uh, Mr. or Mrs. Travel Guide Writer, this “dog fighting” sport has a cool name, but what is it? Imagine a boxing match between two dogs except with no boxing gloves and the dogs fight until one of them is dead. In America we may restrict our dogs to cruel lives as mere pets, but in Albania, dogs are allowed to reach their full potential as world class athletes. In America you might see some dumb, overweight, ugly child wearing a sports jersey for a football quarterback. Well in Albania, smart, healthy, handsome children wear tattoos with the names of their favorite dogs on them. You would be hard pressed to find a person in Albania who knows who Tom Brady is. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of children run around the country chanting Buster’s name.

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic: Cockfighting

Two chickens with razors on their feet dogfight each other. Excuse me. Cock fight one another. The chickens don’t know what death is or how to kill each other, but they have razors on their feet so one of them usually dies. In the U.S. we just slaughter our chickens and eat them in some sort of socially acceptable chicken genocide. But in the Dominican Republic, they let their chickens fight each other, so that if one chicken is really good at killing other chickens, it can actually live a happy life with lots of cuts from razor blades.

Global: Rockball

If you think soccer is the most popular sport in the world, then you’re probably a trust fund baby who doesn’t know how real people live. With over 4 Billion players, Rockball is far and away Earth’s most popular sport. This affordable alternative to soccer doesn’t require players to spend a year’s salary on a soccer ball, but instead to merely find a spherical rock and some hard shoes.

Parachute-Free Base Jumping

Though only recently gaining popularity in the US in places like Cornell, this sport is as old as time. Though the point system was hard to grasp, it was extremely rewarding to watch the frowns disappear from the athletes face as they hurled themselves to what I assume was victory.