Stripper-Gram – The Harvard Lampoon

Slam Dunk #

| Issue Editor: GMS '09 | Art Editor: GMS '09

Stripper-Gram

  CRS '09

A stripper-gram is appropriate for all sorts of messages. The following are but a few:

Dear Timmy, 
Those are female breasts. I know you were curious. 
Love,
Mom

Dear Bobby, 
Do you like me? Yes. No. Maybe (Circle one).
Hugs and kisses,
Jennifer
P.S. Is this stripper prettier than me?

Dear Mr. President,
We invade Denmark at daybreak. This is top secret. Do not trust anyone with this information. Except for the stripper. She’s my wife. 
Sincerely,
General Keating

Dear Bill,
I’m worried you’ve been looking at other women. I couldn’t think of any other way to tell you. What time will you be home for dinner?
Love,
Your wife

Dear Alison, 
I cheated on you with a stripper. Sorry.
Love,
Dave
P.S. This is the one
P.P.S. She doesn’t know you know

Dear Boss,
I said I was never going to strip again, but I needed to give you my two-weeks notice. I know no other method of communication. 
XOXO,
Candy, Former Employee, Stripper-Gram Inc. 

Dear John,
Remember that one night stand we had 20 years ago? I got pregnant.
Thanks a lot,
Susan
P.S. This is your daughter.