Sgt. Levin: Attention, Privates! Sgt. Reese is sick, so I’ll be filling in.
O’Neal: Sir, Sgt. Reese normally lets us play with the bazookas on Fridays, Sir.
Weiss: Sir, and the C-4, Sir.
Sgt. Levin: Well don’t just stand there! To the rocket launchers!
Sgt. Levin: Drop and give me 200!
Jones: Sir, can I use this Pushups Coupon, Sir?
Sgt. Levin: Private, what the hell is a Pushups Coupon?
Jones: Sgt. Reese gave me it so I can skip pushups one time, Sir.
Miller: Sir, I also have a Pushups Coupon but I lost it, Sir.
Sgt. Levin: Why are you two still here? Go rest!
Sgt. Levin: Where’s Pvt. Moore? You’re getting sent into combat early.
Walch: (giggling) Sir, that’s me, Sir!
Moore: Sir, my name’s Pvt. Walch, Sir!
Hollander: Sir, my name is Pvt. Penis, Sir!
Sgt. Levin: Stop it! (aside) Don’t let it go to your head, Penis. Don’t listen to them. Don’t react. That’s what they want. Penis, they’re just bullies.
Sgt. Levin: Is this seat taken?
Friedman: Sir, Sgt. Reese eats lunch in the basement, Sir.
Sgt. Levin: Pvt. Berg, what’s this I feel on my back?
Berg: Sir, it’s a patch that says “kick me.” It’s part of the new uniform.
Sgt. Levin: Does it stand for anything?
Sgt. Levin: Privates, meet my boss, General Roskin.
Roskin: I’m here for a somber occasion, men.
Sgt. Levin: Pvt. Penis has died in battle.
Nelson: You sick bastard. Have you no respect for the dead?
Sgt. Levin: Grow up. No one loved Penis more than me.