Texas – The Harvard Lampoon

Harvard College World Travel Guide

| Issue Editor: MMM '20 | Art Editor: MAK '21

Texas

  MAG '21

Would you kiss your sister for a dollar? For ten thousand dollars? For a million? In Texas, they don’t charge you a cent. You drive right past the WELCOME TO TEXAS, POPULATION: Nunya Wimpy-Liberal Business sign and your sister is waiting right there, in line, waiting for a smooch, on the house. Texas is like high school without the gun laws. It’s like Greek Mythology without the plot twists and with double the teen pregnancies. It’s like China but without Chinese people. And it’s racist. It’s like a cancerous growth on the ballsack of America.

If you find yourself in the Lone Star State this Fall just remember this one simple rule: “Everything’s bigger in Texas!” My sister was no exception to this otherwise fun rule.