The Benny Ronaldo Show – The Harvard Lampoon

Bill Emerson Memorial Bridge #

| Issue Editor: KPB '12 | Art Editor: ARD '12

The Benny Ronaldo Show

  ARD '12

Welcome back to the Benny Ronaldo Show on Channel 9 Southeast Missouri Public-access serving Caper Girardeau and Scott County, I’m Benny Ronaldo. The time is 4 o’clock AM no need to peek into the kitchen and check your microwave clock.

This morning’s episode is sponsored by Huck’s Chili Kitchen on North Sprigg Street. Thanks again for the chili Huck it’s great. Hope my viewers don’t mind me eating this chili during the broadcast so I don’t have to reheat it.

The lines are open so give me a call if you wanna chat. I don’t know much about sports or politics but you can call in and tell me about those things. If it’s your birthday pick up the phone and I’ll sing you a song about birthdays.

Definitely call in if it bothers you that I’m eating chili during the broadcast and I’ll put it in the fridge for later, I just don’t wanna waste it. Anything goes here on the Benny Ronaldo show so don’t hold back.

There was a big party at Anthony V’s house on Saturday; Kim Alexander and the Yagupskies played a rockin’ fifteen-song set and I was giving out Benny Ronaldo Show mugs and hats. A fight broke out but I’m fine cause I ran straight home.

This is the part of the Benny Ronaldo Show where we swap some gossip. Did you guys hear about the car that overheated on the Bill Emerson Memorial Bridge last Thursday? That was my mom’s car, she went so nuts I had to pick her up in Jake’s van and take her to church to calm her down. Oh brother. And did anyone hear about Felix Dominguez? He groped a girl in the Capaha Park gazebo. I heard it was consensual.

Looks like our time is up but stay tuned for one more hour of the Benny Ronaldo Show tomorrow at 4 o’clock AM. Don’t forget to go to Huck’s Chili Kitchen for a large bowl of chili and steak fries and for limited time only, if you mention the Benny Ronaldo Show, a hug.