The Coup – The Harvard Lampoon

Best Medicine #

| Issue Editor: JDA '12 | Art Editor:

The Coup

  KCVD '13

King: General, I overheard your men talking. Come speak with me.
General: My lord, I swear I have nothing to do with whatever you heard them plotting.
King: Don’t play me for a fool. You thought I would be oblivious to a party being planned right under my nose!
General: Beg pardon?
King: The talk of sneaking to the castle, keeping it a secret from me or anyone loyal to the crown…I know what a surprise party is!
General: Oh! Certainly. A surprise party. You truly are a wise king to have uncovered this plot.
King: I know I am. But I am also a magnanimous king: I shall still act surprised.
General: I’m sure you will.
King: Is this an admirable surprise face?
General: Yes, sire, it is.
King: [looking out window] I see the peasants are coming! To think, I never thought they liked me very much.
General: It was their idea in the first place, my liege.
King: It seems they’re bringing horses and spears. What is the theme of this party?
General: …Peasant themed.
King: Delightful. Will it be a potluck? Should I bring a boar?
General: Well, as you know, food has been very scarce for the past few months…
King: Oh, of course! Refreshments wouldn’t make sense given the theme. I’ll feast with my family beforehand. Are they invited?
General: Yes, everyone especially hopes your wife and firstborn son will attend.
King: Most certainly! Say nothing of this conversation, General. As King, it is my duty not to ruin the surprise.