The Feminine Mystique – The Harvard Lampoon

# From Venus

| Issue Editor: RJS '17 | Art Editor: KAM '17

The Feminine Mystique

  AJ '18

—Class, we all know that Betty Friedan’s 1963 opus The Feminine Mystique sparked a new wave of feminist theory which has lasting effects to this day. Before we start the discussion, I want to hear which part, or parts, of the book affected you the most.

—I liked when Friedan rejected conventional psychoanalytic notions of hysteria through the identification of the “problem with no name.”

—I liked when Friedan took down the functional analysis of the sexes, rejecting the notion that the telos of womankind was to be housewife and mother.

—I liked when Grismerelda the Darth Mage unsheathed the sole dagger that could slay the Droogorn even though she had to perform a blood sacrifice of her loyal manservant, the Hobgobble Doorknob.

—Um, could you point us to where in the book that is?

—Um, right after the part when the Dark Egg had lain dormant for 3 suns and 4 moons?

—I am not sure that is in the book.

—Let me find the page.

—Um, that is definitely not in The Feminine Mystique.

—Okay, here we go. Page 653: “As Grismerelda the Darth Mage gazed upon Droogorn’s opalescent gaping maw, she fingered the rim of her oaken scabbard. It had been a gift from her father, the Elf King. She missed him. Now, more than ever. For she had read the runes and the Dark Egg would soon bring a storm unlike any normal storm. How she longed to be back in the elf arms of her father, to taste the sweet marzipan treats the Hobgobble Doorknob would place in her mouth, singing, ‘A thlàpa monçiruop ú, sweet child.’ She now regretted blood sacrificing him.”

Please stop.

“Yet now, she knew that even if the Droogorn would not take her jewels

Stop.

“Even if the Droogorn would not take her jewels… he would still take her body.”