Town Meeting – The Harvard Lampoon

Beyond The Final Frontier #

| Issue Editor: CGB '11 | Art Editor:

Town Meeting

  JDA '12

Mayor: Tonight, we will discuss the construction of a new public park. Mr. Morgenstern will present the issue.

Mr. Morgenstern: It’s simple folks. If we put up a park, we’ll have more open space for our residents. The cons are pretty negligible, like construction noise. Lastly–and I wouldn’t even give this much thought, there’s been some concern that a park in our town would attract lots of homeless people.

Mayor: Now, given the park’s seemingly unanimous support, I think it’s time to open the discussion to hear what you all think the new park should include.

Mrs. Brown: I think that the park should have a new playground for the children.

Mayor: I agree, Mrs. Brown. A playground would be wonderful.

Voice:[from the back]Benches!

Mayor: Yes, of course, the park will include benches.

Voice: Lots of long, soft benches. And blankets, too!

Mayor: Who is saying that? Does anyone else have a suggestion?

Mr. Davis: How about a gazebo?

Voice: Yes, with benches inside! They’d stay dry in the rain!

Mayor: What? Who’s shouting?

Voice: Nobody! Continue building the park!

Mayor: My goodness. I’m sorry about this folks. Is there anyone else with a suggestion?

Voice: No dogs! Please no dogs!