Triplets – The Harvard Lampoon

Strength In Numbers #

| Issue Editor: EHP '15 | Art Editor: SAE '17


  SLK '16

– Congratulation, Mrs. Dunnaway: you have triplets!

– You mean twins? I pushed out only two.

– Correct, Mrs. Dunnaway. However, one of your babies will be valued as two babies, which means you had three babies today. One plus two equals three, Mrs. Dunnaway.

– Well, can you at least tell me which baby is being valued as twice a baby?

Right again, Mrs. Dunnaway. It is the baby on the left. The baby on the left is a very, very special baby.

– My left or your left, doctor?

His middle, Mrs. Dunnaway. In the frame of reference of the special doublebaby, he is merely in the middle and everything is left or right of him.

Pardon my rudeness, but—why is this baby suddenly so special?

– Frankly, Mrs. Dunnaway, we have quotas here.

– Ah, I see. Well, I best be going now to take my babies home.

– Wait one second, Mrs. Dunnaway. Your insurance only covers twins. I’ll need to bill you for the doublebaby-plus-one package.

– Oh, my apologies, doctor.

– No, thank you, Mrs. Dunnaway. Now have fun, all four of you.